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Sunday, April 1, 2012

Westward, Ho! BAM expands with MAM

Breaking BAMnews

April 1, Brooklyn—BAM announced plans for the opening of a satellite Manhattan branch, called MAM (Manhattan Academy of Music), to be tentatively located on the Highline "UltraNorth"—west of Madison Square Garden overlooking the scenic train yards between West 30th and 33rd Streets.

Finally, after 150 years, and apart from a handful of off-site performances including the equestrian theater troupe Zingaro, BAM has decided to export its elusive cultural cachet to the island to its west. Manhattan dwellers can more easily access the cutting edge culture they've flocked across the East River to see.

“We feel that with the adventurous programming that will be presented by MAM that Brooklynites are ready to venture into Manhattan for an evening at the theater, and will see that there are great restaurants throughout Brooklyn’s neighbor to the west,” said BAM’s Executive Producer Joseph V. Melillo.

Brooklyn/Queens residents can rest assured that they'll have safe passage home—the MAMbus will conveniently depart from MAM after each curtain, making eight designated stops, from LIC to Red Hook and hotspots between. (Note: Red Hook riders will be charged a fee of $28 to cover the cost of gas and artisanal salted caramels.) MAM will also be a short walk from Penn Station, one of the city's largest transportation hubs, right behind BAM's nearby Atlantic Avenue nexus.

Although not yet unveiled to the public, rumor has it that the slogan/jingle for the new venue will be David Bowie's "Suffragette City," specifically the lyric, "Wham, BAM, thank you MAM."


(P.S. APRIL FOOLS!)

4 comments:

  1. In related news, Carnegie Hall to open new venue in Red Hook, next to Fairway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If BAM expanded to Staten Island you'd be in SIAM!

    ReplyDelete
  3. QAM, LIAM, BrAM

    ReplyDelete